Judge Not: From Religion to Relationship with God

From Religion to Relationship

Have you ever felt like you were just going through the motions? I know I have. You show up, you follow the steps, you say the right things, but deep down, something feels hollow. It’s like watching a movie about a grand adventure instead of actually living it. Sometimes, our faith can start to feel that way. What was meant to be a vibrant, life-changing relationship with God can slowly turn into a religion about God.

This week, we’re kicking off a new series called “Unlearning Religion,” and we’re starting right with “Judge Not.” We’re going to look at how we can get back to the heart of it all. How we can move from a checklist of rules and rituals to a real, personal connection that transforms us from the inside out.

The Performance Trap

It’s easy to fall into the trap of performance. We learn the rules, adopt the lingo, and master the traditions. We focus on looking the part. We might think that if we just do all the right things, we’ll be “good” with God. But this approach often misses the point entirely. It can turn our spiritual walk into a system of earning and deserving, which is the exact opposite of grace.

When faith becomes a set of regulations, it also becomes a tool for measurement. We start measuring ourselves, and then we start measuring others. Who is following the rules best? Who is falling short? This is where judgment creeps in, creating division and pushing people away. It’s a heavy burden to carry, for ourselves and for those around us.

Think about it. We were invited into a family, not hired for a job. A family is built on love, acceptance, and connection. A job is built on performance reviews and meeting quotas. When our faith feels more like a job, it’s a sign that we’ve drifted from a relationship into religion.

What Jesus Said About Judging

Jesus addressed this directly. In Matthew 7, he gives us a powerful and straightforward command: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” This isn’t just a friendly suggestion; it’s a foundational principle for living in a community of grace. He goes on to ask a piercing question: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I love how visual that is. It’s almost comical. Imagine trying to help someone with a tiny speck in their eye while a giant wooden beam is sticking out of your own. You can’t see clearly, and you’re probably causing more harm than good.

Jesus isn’t saying we should ignore sin or avoid difficult conversations. He’s telling us to check our own hearts first. He’s calling for radical self-reflection and humility. Before we point out the faults in others, we need to deal with our own “planks.” This process of self-examination is not about shame; it’s about honesty. It’s about recognizing that we are all in need of the same grace. This humility is the starting point for moving from a judgmental religion to a life-giving relationship.

Moving from Religion to Relationship

So, how do we make the shift? How do we break free from the performance trap and step into a genuine relationship with God? It starts with a simple, intentional choice.

1. Prioritize Connection Over Correction:
Instead of focusing first on what’s wrong with you or others, focus on connecting with God. Spend time in prayer that feels less like a report and more like a conversation with a friend. Read the Bible not just for rules, but to get to know the heart of God. When you make connection the goal, your perspective starts to change. You begin to see yourself and others through a lens of love, not judgment.

2. Embrace Grace, Not a Grind:
A relationship with God is not about earning His love—it’s about receiving it. You can stop the endless grind of trying to be “good enough.” You already are. Grace means you are fully known and fully loved, planks and all. When you truly let that sink in, the pressure to perform disappears. It frees you up to be honest, to be vulnerable, and to grow.

3. Practice Self-Reflection:
Take Jesus’ words in Matthew 7 to heart. Make a habit of looking inward before you look outward. Ask yourself: What “plank” am I dealing with right now? Where do I need God’s grace in my own life? This practice cultivates humility. A humble heart is a heart that is open to God and compassionate toward others. It’s a heart that’s ready for a real relationship.

Let’s start this journey together. This week, I want to encourage you to examine your own faith. Does it feel more like a performance or a connection? Are you more focused on the specks in others’ eyes or the plank in your own?

Let’s decide to move from a religion about God to a relationship with Him. Let’s trade judgment for grace, and performance for presence. The adventure is waiting.

Until Everyone Hears,

Dr. K

Crossposted and expanded from Trinity United Methodist Church